Including your love life
And as evidenced by my clients
I’m always curious about human nature – particularly in what motivates and compels us, why some people choose to accomplish and improve their lives and why others simply don’t. I am enamored of the capability to pursue a dream in the face of fear, curious about why some people succeed and others crumble, and even more interested in why others don’t even lift a finger.
This morning, I was reflecting on my clients and their collective coaching experiences from a bird’s eye view, which is the best perspective to see the collective forest as opposed to each individual tree, so that I could deeply understand what drew them into my coaching processes and to see what their common threads were. What is it about my clients that compelled them to take this journey?
As I was ruminating, I noticed they all possess this urgent, critical, and with some, imperative, need to return to themselves, to reclaim themselves and their lives. Their emotional, spiritual, and psychological pain had become so great and their sorrow and regret so high that they could not stand to stay in place; at the same time, the fruitful, bountiful, and lush landscape of their desires beckoned them. They may be mired in pain yet they see so clearly what they want their lives to look like. And it spurs them on.
(As an Aside) How do I know they are in pain? How do I know they are inspired to walk through that pain, to get to the dream? When they stand in the presence of their whole self, and when they gaze upon the lustrous and luminous portrait they’ve painted of their whole lives, they weep. Often.
It’s actually a quite powerful moment and I see their weeping as the earmark – the sign they are ready for that kind of deep transformation that, if they continue to apply themselves and are consistent and dedicated to the work that we do together (in session and out of session), is inevitable. Their barriers are down; they stand metaphorically naked in front of themselves. In a mystical context, or even a Jungian psychological context, this is what it means to journey to the underworld. It’s unfortunate that we as a society do not honor crying – this is a topic for another post.
This transformational process is paralleled in many myths, such as the myth of Inanna or Psyche wherein the “hero” voluntarily strips herself of artifice/defenses so that a re-emergence can occur. It’s also symbolically paralleled in the transformational journey of the butterfly, where the old form dissolves into a primordial goop only to reassemble and be “reborn” into something beautiful and captivating. (NB: I realize that this may sound weird for some people who have never looked at the larger or deeper context of their lives yet I’ll refrain from censoring myself as I am not here to play small – and truthfully I don’t think you’re here to play small either.)
Liberating the Warrior Within
After these reflections, I recognized that my 1:1 coaching journeys are mainly reserved for Warriors of the Heart in service to having an extraordinary life and it’s worth exploring what that means. I find that these Heart Warriors have characteristics that mean the difference between success and the same old.
First, let’s define what a Heart Warrior is. Warriors dig deep and have the courage to challenge their illusory fears, lies, false beliefs, and judgments that create misery and unhappiness in their lives that prevent them from leading a life they love. They are engaged in a sort of combat that takes place in the heart and mind and are dedicated to transformation so they can experience giving and receiving love.
My Heart Warriors face their challenges with the clarity and awareness that this warfare is fought within and that truth, success and unconditional love are on the other side of these battles. This is what the Toltecs refer to as Personal Freedom (learn more about this concept by reading this book: The Four Agreements by don Miguel Ruiz).
Are you a Warrior in Service to Your Life and Your Relationships?
I realized that there are four primary attributes that show up in the Heart Warriors I work with: Awareness, Discipline, Courage and Commitment to Loving Themselves. In my next four posts, I will explore each attribute a bit more in-depth, so please stick around.
In the meantime, if you’re ready to become the Warrior and attract an extraordinary relationship, drop me a line so we can talk about where you are now and where you’d like to be. We’ll also uncover what’s getting in your way.